Barrel Fever by David Sedaris

From Goodreads: In David Sedaris's world no one is safe and no cow is sacred. A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Liebowitz, and the National Enquirer, Sedaris's collection of stories and essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a bitter Santa abuses the elves; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral.

My least favorite David Sedaris book - that was unexpected! I thought Barrel Fever would be just as much of a fun romp as all his other books I have read (and loved!) but it just wasn't. I had to push myself not to lose focus in order to finish some of the beginning stories, flipping forward to see how much longer it would go on. How did this happen? Well, this is (from what I can figure looking online) his earliest book and it has a different feel from his later books in that the bulk of the book is stories that aren't autobiographical but are complete fantasy - that made them hard for me to follow - Who's talking? What's real? What's made up? And it felt like he was trying too hard to be funny and edgy instead of the natural storyteller ease his later works have. Everything changes with the last quarter of the book with the title story "Barrel Fever", and then (YES!) four essays "Diary of a Smoker", "Giantess", "The Curly Kind" and "The Santaland Diaries" - those five made it worth plowing through the rest of it. So now I know - I like David Sedaris' essays, I don't like David Sedaris' stories.

I am trying to reach 100 books this year - I've never done it before although I have come very close, click on the logo to see how I am doing for this year!

Naked by David Sedaris

From Amazon's product description: Welcome to the hilarious, strange, elegiac, outrageous world of David Sedaris. In Naked, Sedaris turns the mania for memoir on its ear, mining the exceedingly rich terrain of his life, his family, and his unique worldview-a sensibility at once take-no-prisoners sharp and deeply charitable. A tart-tongued mother does dead-on imitations of her young son's nervous tics, to the great amusement of his teachers; a stint of Kerouackian wandering is undertaken (of course!) with a quadriplegic companion; a family gathers for a wedding in the face of imminent death. Through it all is Sedaris's unmistakable voice, without doubt one of the freshest in American writing.

David Sedaris does it again - great laugh out loud stories. I enjoyed this book more than the last one I read, Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim, it seems like this one had more of his family in it and they are one of the strangest/funniest groups you've ever met. This one had an extra long story or two in the second half; I find that those longer ones drag a bit for me - I like it short and snappy! Although, one of the longer stories was a pages long essay on David's excursion to a nudist park for a week's vacation that kept me entertained all the way through! (I have to venture a guess that is where the title came from.) I can relate to so many of David's childhood memories - reading racy books while babysitting - somewhat fearful that the people would come home and catch you, dreaming that perhaps you are really royalty that has been placed in the wrong family by mistake, and the chapter on David's tics made me think of Tween who has displayed tics in the past although not to the "light switch licking" extent that Sedaris does. David's twisted take on his suburban chidlhood is a delightful read.

I spent the night with another man...

It was David Sedaris! I had such a good time getting together with Tiffany for an evening with David Sedaris. I've read two of his books When You Are Engulfed in Flames and Me Talk Pretty One Day and loved them both. Tiffany is an equally ardent fan. Lucky Tiffany lives outside of Atlanta where things like this happen. Me, I live on the coast of South Carolina where nothing much happens unless you really like golf. I drove to Atlanta to meet Tiffany and the five hour trip was almost the perfect length to relisten to When You Are Engulfed in Flames - I got through 6 of the 8 CD's. I expected when we heard him read, that he would be reading essays from it since that is his most recent book. I was surprised and delighted to discover that he had entirely new material to share with us. The first essay had me a little worried - it was more political then anything of his that I have read and I thought, "Oh no, I didn't come to be lectured, I want to have fun!" But it quickly got better. I had another "uh-oh" moment later when he said, "Are there any Catholic girls here?". Tiffany and I looked at each other mouthing, "oh shit" and he did proceed with some irreverent material. It was the kind of joke that non-Catholics make and usually truly don't understand how offensive it is. We must not have been the only Catholics in the row as I heard a lady one seat over remark to her husband, "Oh yeah, he's going straight to hell for that one." As soon as she giggled, Tiffany was planning her trip to confession. Since confession for me is more of a semi-annual event, I let the little sins like this slide and just pony up to the big ones. Lusting after David Sedaris will make my list, giggling at an irreverent joke won't.

I still have two of his other books on my wish list - Holidays on Ice and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. My wish list takes forever to materialize since I have this frugal streak that wants to acquire all my books for a quarter at thrift sales. But considering that I just drove ten hours and spent close to a hundred dollars on a pair of tickets, maybe I should go check and see if there are used copies on Amazon that I could buy! In the meantime, I found this series of youtube videos from a commencement address he gave. I've only listened to part of the first two questions but it made me laugh enough to know I want to hear the rest. So I decided to post them here and then whenever I want a David fix, I can just click here instead of having to search youtube.

So with warnings about language and content and every other way he might offend, I present David Sedaris.....

When You Are in Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

From the publisher's website: "David Sedaris's ability to transform the mortification of everyday life into wildly entertaining art," (The Christian Science Monitor) is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this remarkable new book.
Trying to make coffee when the water is shut off, David considers using the water in a vase of flowers and his chain of associations takes him from the French countryside to a hilariously uncomfortable memory of buying drugs in a mobile home in rural North Carolina. In essay after essay, Sedaris proceeds from bizarre conundrums of daily life-having a lozenge fall from your mouth into the lap of a fellow passenger on a plane or armoring the windows with LP covers to protect the house from neurotic songbirds-to the most deeply resonant human truths. Culminating in a brilliant account of his venture to Tokyo in order to quit smoking, David Sedaris's sixth essay collection is a new masterpiece of comic writing from "a writer worth treasuring" (Seattle Times).

I'm going to try really hard not to gush but I am IN LOVE with this man -so bad for me that he is both taken and gay. I listened to this book on CD so it was an extra treat to hear his anecdotes told in his voice with his great timing and intonation. He is just so funny. I listened in the car, and laughed and laughed so hard, I am certain other drivers must have thought I was nuts. Now I find myself replaying scenes from the book in my head, sometimes at the most inappropriate times...lying by my husband as we are about to drift off to sleep, laying in corpse pose during yoga class, while the priest is giving his homily...all times where my chest suddenly starting to heave in a fit of giggles is not good.

For those of you who have read it, I'll just put a few nuggets here about my favorite parts...Helen (of course!), dingos, guinea worms, Town and Country, Bangkok, and always Hugh. Go ahead - chuckle!

This book is my "W" for the A-Z Reading Challenge!Click on the logo to see my progress.








And it counts for the 2009 Audiobook Challenge too. Hooray for crossovers!

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris

From Amazon: Whether by nature or by nurture, Ma and Pa Sedaris certainly knew something about raising funny kids. Amy Sedaris has built a cult following for her Comedy Central character Jerri Blank, and David, the more famous of the two siblings, continues to spin his personal history into comedic gold. A good chunk of the material in Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim debuted in other media outlets, such as The New Yorker, but Sedaris's brilliantly written essays deserve repeat reads.

Another good one by David Sedaris. This one was not as laugh out loud funny as the others I have read but still solidly entertaining. Sedaris' descriptions of his childhood self, the boy who decopauged the outlet covers in his room, really tickle me. His eccentric family takes the stage again mostly for laughs but also in a rather reflectve piece about whether or not it is kind to them to place them in the spotlight.

Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris

I love David Sedaris and this book was no exception. This collection of essays was sharp and funny. The essay on David's experience playing an elf in Santa's Village at the mall was a treat - the insider's look at something mysterious, and then, of course, David's witty take on all of it.



This is one of my books for the Holiday Reading Challenge hosted by all about n. Click on the button to check my progress.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. by Chelsea Handler

From the Amazon product description: When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power -- vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea's world -- a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.

I listened to this one right after finishing Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret. for the Shelf Discovery Challenge I picked it up with a little chuckle that the title was a take off on a book I had just read. Not too far in the chuckle seemed like a sacrilege. Chelsea Handler has her niche but it's sometimes a pretty base, ugly place and very far removed from the sweet searching story that Judy Blume wrote. I didn't know anything about Chelsea Handler when I picked out this book but I had heard her referred to as the female version of David Sedaris and, you know I love David! I caught glimpses of that side of Chelsea when she was talking about her family, "Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family." But the good humor was almost outweighed by the raunchier stuff with promiscuity being lauded. So, I am still looking for the female version of David Sedaris!

This book counts toward the 2010 Audiobook Challenge hosted by the bloggers over at Royal Reviews. Click on the button to see my progress.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

Another collection of essays from David Sedaris....loved it! I liked part one, the essays about his family, a little bit more than part two "deux" , the essays about his time spent in France. David's learning the language/fish out of water stories are solidly funny but I still like the family better. He has such a way of capturing them. He doesn't spend a lot of time on physical decsriptions of them; I don't have any kind of mental image to try to find them in a photo but their voices are loud and clear. I think if I was out in the world and heard one of them speak that I would know instantly who it was because he has painted them so vividly.

This book is my "M" for the A-Z Reading Challenge! Click on the logo to see my progress.

Why I Need to Quit My Job

Things have gotten a little out of hand with my TBR pile. I'm going to have to whittle this down. I've joined some reading challenges and some I am just going to have to pass on. I'll keep you posted!

A Green Desire by Myner, novel
A Short Guide to a Happy Life by Anna Quindlen, reflection
A Son of the Circus by John Irving, novel
A Sudden Change of Heart by Brabara Taylor Bradford, novel
A Theory of Relativity by Jacquelin Mitchard, novel
A Virtuous Woman by Kaye Gibbons, novel
A Woman of Substanance by Barbara Taylor Bradford, novel
Another City, Not My Own by Dominick Dunne, novel
Anyone But you by Jennifer Cruise, novel
Audacity of Hope, The by Barack Obama, non-fiction politics
**U.S. President's Reading Challenge
Bet Me by Jennifer Cruise, novel
Blood Orange by Druscilla Campbell, novel
Blue Bedspread, The by Jha, novel
Bluest eye, The by Toni Morison, novel
Boleyn Inheritance, The by Phillipa Gregory, historical fiction
Brethenm The by John Grisham, novel
Call No Man Father by William X. Kienzle, novel
Cat and Mouse by James Patterson, novel
China Card, The by James Erlichman, novel
Choke by Stuart Woods, novel
Cider House Rules by John Irving, novel
Color of Water, The by James McBride, memoir
Coming Attractions by Fannie Flagg, novel
Coming Home by Rosamunde Pilcher, novel
Day of Drums by Philip Shelby, novel
Dear Mem Fox by Mem Fox, memoir
Devil in the Junior League, The by Linda Francis Lee, novel
Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee, novel
Doubel Take by Catherine Coulter, novel
Dry by Augustne Burroughs, memoir
Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons, novel
End of Summer, The by Rosamunde Pilcher, novel
Falling Angels by Tracy Chevalier, historical fiction
Fat Tuesday by Sandra Brown,novel
Fried Eggs With Chopsticks by Polly Evans, travel
From Beginning to End by Robert fulghum, essays
Gap Creek by Robert Morgan, novel
Greatest Generation, The by Tom Brokaw, non-fiction history
Hanna's Daughters by Marianne Frederikson, novel
Here on Earth by Alice Hoffman, novel
History of God by Armstrong, non-fiction religion
Hours, The by Michael Cunningham, novel
House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubuis III, novel
Icy Sparks by Gwyn Hyman Rubis, novel
In the Shadow of the Crown: The Story of Mary Tudor by Jean Plaidy, historical fiction
Jack and Jill by James Patterson, novel
Jane Austen Book Club by Fowler, novel
John Adams by David Mccullough, historical fiction
**U.S. President's Reading Project
Johnny Tremain by Esther forbes, kids lit
Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado, non-fiction religion
Killshot by Elmore Leonard, novel
Kiss the Girls by James Patterson, novel
Kitchen Priveleges by Mary Higgins Clark, memoir
Lords of Discipline, The by Pat Conroy, novel
Many Aspects of Mobile Home Living by Martin Clark, novel
Mary, Mary by James Patterson, novel
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris, essays
Mexico by James Michener, novel
Midwives by Chris Bohijalian, novel
My Losing Season by Pat Conroy, memoir
New Testament, The by John Grisham, novel
Other Boleyn Girl, The by Philippa Gregory, historical fiction
Partner, The by John Grisham, novel
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett, historical fiction
Praying For My Life by Marion Bond West, memoir
Rainmaker, The by John Grisham, novel
Ralph's Party by Lisa Jewell, novel
Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi, memoir
Red Tent, The by Anita Diamant, novel
Run With the Horsemen by Ferrol Sams, novel
Running With the Devil by Steve Kissing, memoir
S. by John Updike, novel
Shiloh, Shiloh Season, Saving Shiloh by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, kids lit
Skinny Dip by Carl Hiaasen, novel
Songs in Ordinary Time by Mary McGarry Morris, novel
Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, The by Anne Fadiman, non-fiction culture
Starting Out in the Evening by Brian Morton, novel
Stone Diaries, The by Carol Shields, novel
Sunday Wife, The by Cassandra King, novel
Surrender the Pink by Carrie Fisher, novel
Thinking Out Loud by Anna Quindlen, essays
Thirteenth Tale, The by Diane Setterfield, novel
This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald, novel
Thorn Birds, The by Colleen McCullough, novel
Thy Brother's Wife by Andrew Greeeley, novel
Tipping Point, The by Macolm Gladwell, non-fiction business
'Tis by Frank McCourt, memoir
Twelth Card, The by Jeffreu Deaver, novel
Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, novel
Under the Tuscan Sun by Francis Mayer, novel
Unnatural Exposure by Patricia Cornwall, novel
Watership Down by Richard Adams, novel
We Wish to Let You Know That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda by Philip Gourevitch, non-fiction history
What Is Mine by Anne Holt, novel
When All the World Was Young by Ferrol Sams, novel
When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris, essays
Where or When by Anita Shreve, novel
Where You Belong by Barbara Taylor Bradford, novel
While I Was Gone by Sue Miller, novel
Whisperer of the River by Ferrol Sams, novel
Winter People, The by Phyllis Whitnet, novel
World Is Flat, The by Friedman, non-fiction politics
Year of Dreams by Gloria Goldreid, novel
Year of Pleasure by Elizabeth Berg, novel

A-Z Reading Challenge

I've signed up for this challenge using ...Option B: Read titles A to Z. Commit to reading 26 books theoretically speaking.






Here's where I'll keep track of my progress.
A- Amethyst Dreams by Phyllis Whitney
B- Burning Bright by Tracey Chevalier
C- Curious Case of Benjamin Button by F. Scott Fitgerald
D- Dry by Augusten Burroughs
E- Eden Close by Anita Shreve
F- Fourth of July by James Patterson
G- Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner
H- The Help by Kathryn Stockett
I- Isle of Palms by Dorothea Benton Frank
J- Just Take My Heart by Mary Higgins Clark
K- Kitchen Privileges by Mary Higgins Clark
L- Lowcountry by Anne Rivers Siddons
M- Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
N- New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
O- One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell
P- The Power of Simple Prayer by Joyce Meyer
Q- The Quiet American by Graham Greene
R- Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates
S- Soul Catcher by Michael White
T- Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
U- Undead and Unreturnable by MaryJanice Davidson
V- The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis
W- When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
X- The Dangerous Days of Daniel X by James Patterson
Y- The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg
Z- Zapped by Carol Higgins Clark

A-Z Reading Challenge 2009 completed!

Hooray! I finished the challenge.
I wasn't sure when I started this challenge that I would be able to finish it so I am happy and proud that I did. I know one thing, if I come across a good "X" or "Z" book in the next few months, I'm saving it for 2010! Here's what I read to complete the challenge, You can click on the logo to check out the other folks who participated. Thank you so much to the organizers of the challenge - it was a pleasure to be a part of it!


A- Amethyst Dreams by Phyllis Whitney
B- Burning Bright by Tracey Chevalier
C- Curious Case of Benjamin Button by F. Scott Fitgerald
D- Dry by Augusten Burroughs
E- Eden Close by Anita Shreve
F- Fourth of July by James Patterson
G- Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner
H- The Help by Kathryn Stockett
I- Isle of Palms by Dorothea Benton Frank
J- Just Take My Heart by Mary Higgins Clark
K- Kitchen Privileges by Mary Higgins Clark
L- Lowcountry by Anne Rivers Siddons
M- Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
N- New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
O- One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell
P- The Power of Simple Prayer by Joyce Meyer
Q- The Quiet American by Graham Greene
R- Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates
S- Soul Catcher by Michael White
T- Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
U- Undead and Unreturnable by MaryJanice Davidson
V- The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis
W- When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
X- The Dangerous Days of Daniel X by James Patterson
Y- The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg
Z- Zapped by Carol Higgins Clark

Mailbox Monday

Mailbox Monday hosted by Marcia at The Printed Page is the gathering place for readers to share the books that came into their house last week (checked out library books don’t count, eBooks & audio books do). Warning: Mailbox Monday can lead to envy, toppling TBR piles and humongous wish lists.


I ordered a few books from Amazon and they came in the mail. Two of them were the result of reading this blog...The Literate Housewife...so I am considering sending Jennifer a copy of my Visa bill thank you note. The third is a David Sedaris - just because I love him and I needed to get my order up a few dollars to get the "free" super saver shipping. So here they are...

The Heretic Queen is the Facebook Historical Fiction Book Club selection for November 2009. We read another book by Michelle Moran, Nefertiti, in August 2009 and it got great reviews from the group - unfortunately - I procrastinated and didn't get it done.






The Perks of Being a Wallflower came on my radar when Jennifer posted an article about it being taken off the shelves of a high school because a parent had complained about the content. A couple folks expressed an interest in reading it, myself included, so she opened up a group for the discussion. My teenage daughter Bookworm recognized it and said it has been a popular book at her school.





And, Naked was my "I need a few more dollars to get super saver shipping" book. It's been on my wish list for awhile. When I went to search for "Naked Sedaris" my search engine sternly admonished me not to click through to see the images and after a pause for me to conjure up an image of a fully clothed Sedaris and then imagine him naked, I decided to take Bing's advice. Luckily this picture was on Wikipedia; it is a little out of proportion to the other covers - we all just have to live with it.

I Like You by Amy Sedaris

From the Amazon product description: Are you lacking direction in how to whip up a swanky soiree for lumberjacks? A dinner party for white-collar workers? A festive gathering for the grieving? Don't despair. Take a cue from entertaining expert Amy Sedaris and host an unforgettable fete that will have your guests raving. No matter the style or size of the gathering--from the straightforward to the bizarre--I LIKE YOU provides jackpot recipes and solid advice laced with Amy's blisteringly funny take on entertaining, plus four-color photos and enlightening sidebars on everything it takes to pull off a party with extraordinary flair.

I've raved often enough about how much I like David Sedaris so coming across this book by his sister, Amy, at the library delighted me but as is often the case when I go in with such high hopes - it wasn't all wonderful. There were some things about it that just fascinated me - the photography to start. Amy is a very pretty girl and she dresses her self up in costumes to grace many of the pages; seeing her transformations was fascinating. She also used plenty of pictures of food and decorations. The sneak peek page on her website says, "This book is so visual, a monkey could enjoy it." The vignettes she creates to go along with the party themes are very clever and looking at all the details is a treat. Some of the recipes sounded pretty good but if I am actually going to get a recipe from a book and try it - it's not going to be from a comedienne, it's going to be from a cook so although they sounded okay, I didn't make anything from the book. The humor was at times wonderful and at times made me cringe. When she talks about how to deal with the inebriated and says, "Better to cut them off rather than pretend it's not happening and then allow them to stay over and wet your bed" that makes me laugh. But then other times she goes too far over the edge and I am not offended but neither am I amused. She also includes crafts which I could absolutely live without. The final verdict is that I was glad I got this one from the library, it was a sometimes funny romp but not something I would ever refer back to again.

This post is linked to Weekend Cooking over at Beth Fish Reads. Click on the logo to see the other posts this week.






This book is my "I" book for the 2010 A-Z Reading Challenge. Click on the button to see my progress.

2009 Audiobook Challenge

This is my reporting spot for the 2009 Audiobook Challenge - I recently started listening to audiobooks and so was very excited to find this challenge! The rules are pretty simple - just listen to 12 audiobooks over the course of the year. I spend a LOT of time driving children to and from activities and driving for work so this challenge should be one I can actually complete! Click on the title to go to the review.

1. When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

2. Burning Bright by Tracey Chevalier

3. Night by Elie Wiesel

4. Beyond the White House by Jimmy Carter

5. We Were the Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates

6. The Beach House by James Patterson

7. 4th of July by James Patterson

8. The Book of the Dead by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child

9. This Rock by Robert Morgan

10. The Power of Simple Prayer by Joyce Meyer

11. Lifeguard by James Patterson

12. Undead and Unreturnable by MaryJanice Davidson

These are some extras...
13. When Madeline Was Young by Jane Hamilton

14. The First Family by David Baldacci

15. Long Lost by Harlan Coben

16. The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason

17. The Whole Truth by David Baldacci

18. The Unquiet by John Connolly

19. Got the Look by James Grippando

20. Memory in Death by JD Robb

21. Open House by Elizabeth Berg

22. Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

23. White Oleander by Janet Fitch

24. Gone for Good by Harlan Coben

25. A Fine Dark Line by Joe Lansdale

26. King of Torts by John Grisham

27. Flesh and Bone by Jefferson Bass

28. The Christmas Train by David Baldacci

29. Her Last Death by Susanna Sonnenberg

The Finish Line

There's a line I love in David Sedaris' book When You Are Engulfed in Flames, it is a non-English speaker trying to describe that someone has quit smoking and he says, "He is finished with the cigarettes." Sedaris notes, and I agree, that it sounds like the person was allotted a certain number of cigarettes and he had smoked them all; he was finished with the cigarettes. That sums up how I felt on the day I had the last cigarette. I was finished. If I close my eyes and allow my body to relax, I can transport myself back to that moment.

I head out the side door to the utility porch of the rambling two story clapboard house. I'm dressed in a flowing denim dress with tights and long johns underneath, a turtleneck and sweater over the top, and my heavy lace up boots. At that point the girl who never wore jeans hadn’t yet succumbed to what would be become my uniform during the Maine winters - L.L. Bean flannel lined jeans. I reach for the window ledge and feel for the pack and lighter hidden there. I stand facing out to the landscape surveying the snow and ice as I go through the familiar ritual. Tamping down the pack, finally, hitting it just right to make a single cigarette shoot out into the waiting opposing hand. Bringing it to my lips and lighting it with that first heavy drag. My warm breath is already making visible puffs as I exhale and that combines with the tendrils of cigarette smoke to obscure the scene in front of me. I savor every drag of the last cigarette.

The first cigarette came years earlier at an age much too young. The summer I was preparing to turn 13, my family moved due to a transfer in my father's work. I left seventh grade at middle school expecting to go to another middle school for the all important "top of the hill" eighth grade year. But this particular town didn’t have middle schools. Here kids went to elementary school from kindergarten through seventh grade and then high school for eighth through twelfth grade. So the first day of school found me streaming into the building with an assortment of unknown and some much older students. I was a sub-freshman - the lowest form of life at the high school. All the kids from Hightower Elementary assume that I had gone to Kingslee Elementary, and the students from Kingslee thought I must be from Shallowford Elementary, and those kids from Shallowford were sure I was from Chestnut Elementary. So no one felt the need to befriend me because surely I had friends from my old elementary school. The teachers were no better, they were facing a sea of new faces all converging from the four elementary schools and everyone was new and they didn’t know their names much less their history or whether they had a need for matchmaking.

For a new student with no one to talk to the longest six minute of every hour are the change of classes. When the bell rings and you are dismissed from the safe structure of your assigned seat and the classroom's prescribed expectations, you are thrust out into the hall where everyone seems to be busy with their friends. The couples are pressing each other up against lockers for a mini make out session, the single girls are in groups at their lockers looking into mirrors, talking to each other and applying lip gloss, the jock guys are horsing around pushing and shoving in that fraternity of physical familiarity. I escaped from the halls by heading into the bathroom, pretending to go, dilly dallying as I washed hands to use up the endless minutes. And as the day passed, I ventured further and further back into the bathroom until I was at the very back of the bathroom where the other misfits hung out. The smoking girls were huddled in the last stall puffing on their cigarettes. To join this clique, all that was required was a quick lie, "I left my cigarettes at home, can I bum off you today? I'll pay you back." And I was in.

I smoked through high school and through college and through the first years of teaching as a young single woman, and through my engagement. But it was during the engagement that the fiancée, who also smoked, suggested that we quit. We would quit together before the wedding and start out married as non-smokers. I agreed and we managed it. We did not smoke through the first move, the pregnancy and birth of our baby, nor through the second move. Then when the baby turned one year old, I decided it was time to return to work. The work place I chose happened to be populated with many smokers. My boss smoked, and her boss smoked, and her boss smoked too. As the new girl, with little to do, I became everyone's favorite chum to ask outside to keep them company for their cigarette break. At first it was just that, sit with them, talk, get incredible inside scoop on office politics. Then it happened, I caved and had one, and another, and another, and before you know it I was smoking again full time.

This time smoking had a new aspect. It took me away from my family. Husband didn’t smoke. I certainly didn’t want to smoke in front of the baby. So it became a complication to find the chance to have the next cigarette. Baby fell asleep in the car seat? Pull over and stand on the side of the road and have a smoke. Husband busy on the computer? Take out the trash and while you're outside, have a smoke. Eventually, there was no need of the trash taking ruse, I just left the two of them inside to read books, play with Little People, or watch the Disney movie, and I went outside to sit in my chair and smoke. It went on like that for two maybe three years until it was time for the next move.

But the next move brought a surprise, I was pregnant with baby number two. And so I stood out on the porch the morning of the positive test looking at the blue plus sign on the pregnancy test, with the phone handset beside me, knowing it was time to call husband and tell him the news. But first, I had to have that cigarette. I was one cigarette away from the finish line. I was about to be "finished with the cigarettes" but first I needed to have those last few seconds of just being me. I stood still in the cold, surveying the snow and ice covered landscape, slowly smoking the last cigarette before I squashed that butt, made that phone call, crossed that finish line and became a non-smoker, an expectant mother - finished with the cigarettes.


This post was written for the monthly Write-Away contest hosted at Scribbit. This month's topic is The Finish Line. Head over..there's still time for you to enter too! And, just for the record, haven't had a cigarette since - baby number two is now twelve years old!

The Book List meme: 3 Book Titles That Made Me Laugh Out Loud When I First Read Them

Rebecca at Lost in Books has started a new weekly meme - The Book List. This is perfect for me because I love making lists of books. I am more likely to make a list for a challenge than to actually complete a challenge! So here it is - all lists, no pressure - just right for me.

Here's this week's list..
3 Book Titles That Made Me Laugh Out Loud When I First Read Them

Wallflower at the Orgy by Nora Ephron

When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris or almost anything by David (Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Me Talk Pretty One Day) - he just does good titles!

We Thought You Would be Prettier by Laurie Notaro

Holiday Reading Challenge

I LOVE THIS BUTTON! Is that a good enough reason to join a challenge? I think so! But, just in case, I aleady have three holiday books in my TBR pile that I can use for this challenge so it's a win-win situation!

I imagine everyone else has already heard about this challenge because it started November 20th - EEK - I'm so late! So I won't give too many details but it is hosted by all about n and if you click on the gorgeous button above, it shoud take you to the sign-up post - hooray!

Here's what I plan to read...
Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris
The Christmas Train by David Baldacci
The Purpose of Christmas by Rick Warren

Holiday Reading Challenge Wrap-Up

I signed up for the Holiday Reading Challenge hosted by all about n. Before December got derailed, I read two of the three books that I had hoped to - Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris and The Christmas Train by David Baldacci but I did not make it to The Purpose of Christmas by Rick Warren.

If you click on the GORGEOUS button above, you can see what everybody else read by reading their wrap-up posts.

Audiobook Week: Audiobook Meme

Jen of Devourer of Books posted this Audiobook Week meme and I am playing along. There is still a smidgen of time left today if you would like to play too and then you can be entered to win a prize!

Audiobook are you currently reading/you read most recently: I have The American in my work car and Larry Wilmore's I'd Rather We Got Casinos in my personal car. Impressions?: Neither of these books is knocking me over.

How long you’ve been listening to audiobooks: It's been about eighteen months that I have been addicted.

First audiobook you ever listened to: Not sure about the first one I ever listened to, but the first one I blogged about was David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames.

Favorite audiobook title: Hmmm... I think that is Friday's post topic so here's the spoiler - Paint It Black by Janet Fitch was one of my favorites and it's also one I am giving away.

Favorite narrator: The one that comes to mind is Ron McLarty who read at least one, maybe more, of the David Baldacci books I have listened to.

How do you choose what to listen to versus read?:I listen to whatever I can get my hands on and pick my reading pretty much the same way! Can we say - indiscriminate?


If you like audiobooks, I am giving away some that I liked, here.

Audiobook Week: Mid-week meme

Current/most recent audiobook: I am listening to T.C. Boyle's The Women about Frank Lloyd wright and the women in his life. I've wanted to read this one ever since I read and loved Loving Frank . Frank Lloyd Wright is an interesting guy.
Impressions: Well, although I have wanted this forever, I may not make it through. I have finished the first of fourteen discs and it has not captured my attention; there's a lot of big words and not much action. I am going to keep on for a bit and see how it goes.

Current favorite audiobook: All time favorite would have to be Backseat Saints by Joshilyn Jackson. That one just knocked my socks off!

One narrator who always makes you choose audio over print: I always choose audio for the David Baldacci books narrated by Ron McLarty. I don't think I would ever take the time to sit down and read one of Baldacci's action/adventure books but I am content to listen to them while I am driving.

Genre you most often choose to listen to: I am a genre slut - I do 'em all and have no distinct preference.

If given the choice, you will always choose audio when: it's humor like David Sedaris. I love to laugh in the car!

If given the choice, you will always choose print when: There's going to be extensive quoting from diaries or letters or such. I have a hard time with those transitions on audio - can't keep my place.

(I'll add a plug, I have a little giveaway tomorrow - like a hostess gift - nothing big just a "thank you all for inviting me to the Audiobook Week party" kind of thing.